Archive for February, 2010



Posted by: Barbara | Comments (0)

Who doesn’t equate Cupid with love and desire?  He is the god of love from Roman mythology and is depicted as a winged blond cherub flying about the mythical world.  He is known to aim his bow and arrows at the Gods, Goddesses and Humans causing them to fall deeply in love.   For a second…just for a second, I wish I had Cupid’s powers.  I would create a special arrow and aim it at YOU.  With this arrow’s touch you would fall in love…but not with someone else.  The object of your love and attention would be you!

Well maybe this sounds outrageous and totally narcissistic, but I’ve talked to so many, who remain narrowly focused on others and gives themselves insufficient “self care!”  Several of my clients share that they are sad and frustrated over not fulfilling their own dreams and wishes.  But paradoxically they say to put themselves first is “selfish” and “rude.”  They explain that they have no time for their needs, because family, friends and other demands come first.  Some have good intentions to set strong boundaries but end up saying, “yes” to too many requests, leaving no time for their own wishes.  They have countless excuses why those personal activities that nurture and vitalize them are put on hold or are long forgotten.

As we reach the 55+ years and are near or in retirement, we comfortably can step away from these previously held commitments. There may have been times when the demands of life were overwhelming and you (and I) felt like martyrs, taking on tasks way beyond reason.  But now, things are different.  We don’t have nearly the obligations nipping at our heels as we used to allowing us to be more attentive to our own needs.

So this Valentine’s Day ask yourself…Do I:
•    Allow other people’s needs to consistently override my own?
•    Silently slip into accepting less than I want?
•    Feel disappointed when others don’t know what I need or want?
•    Avoid or postpone my own health care due to time constraints?
•    Needlessly prioritize my work over relaxing and playful activities?
•    Repeatedly participate in activities that drain or annoy me?
•    Have more relationships based on my giving rather than receiving?

If you’ve answer yes to one or more of these questions, then it is time for rebalancing your self-love quotient.  Yes, stop settling for less than and start filling your life with more of what you want.  I realize that there are some who don’t need this lesson, as they have let the self-love pendulum swing too far in the ME direction and think mainly of themselves. This message, however, is for the restless nurturers yearning to be set free and pursue dreams of their own.

Wait no longer for someone else to do it for you.   This is the time for you!  I propose on this Valentine’s Day, to put yourself high up on your list.  Make a commitment to end self-denying behaviors and proudly bring self-love and care back into your life.  If not now…when?

If someone you know can benefit from this message, then please forward it to them.

Categories : Retirement Coaching
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